If you’re into writing royalty free music for others, one area where you might get some requests for work is the area of TV themes. Sure, you might not get to write for NBC’s big new hit but certainly their are local PBS stations that could be looking for music. Even so, I wonder what kind of job it could be given the state of TV themes in today’s industry. I mean let’s face it, they are virtually becoming extinct.
Sure, there are still some decent ones like Big Bang Theory, written by Bare Naked Ladies, NCIS and NCIS LA, but then you’ve got stuff like Perception, which is a great show, but the theme is like one note? I mean what’s with that? And there are a lot of shows that have gone the minimalist route. Some don’t even have any theme at all. So I really have to ask.
What happened to the great TV themes?
Let’s be honest, throughout the history of TV there have been some great themes. Many of them so memorable that we still sing them today. And it’s not like TV themes never went through changes before. Remember the period of time when every TV theme was turned into a hit record like Happy Days, Welcome Back Kotter and the theme from Laverne and Shirley, “Making Our Dreams Come True” sung by Cindy Grecco?
Then we have the instrumental themes from Mike Post, like Hill Street Blues, Rockford Files and so on. They all became hit records too.
And who could forget the lavish years with themes like Dynasty, Dallas, Knots Landing, Fantasy Island and all the other great orchestral works?
Now we get “Men”. Thank God next season is its last. The show is as bad as the theme. At least the new Hawaii Five O kept the original theme song. That would have been a crime had it not.
What do you think caused this changed to minimalist themes? Well, I have a couple of theories. Granted, this is all speculation and nobody will ever know for sure but I think they have merit.
Theory 1 – It’s no secret that TV is more about commercials than it used to be. I remember watching shows like Combat and Outer Limits as a kid. Do you know those episodes were over 50 minutes long? I don’t think there was more then 6 or 7 minutes of commercials in an hour long show. Today, an hour show is about 42 minutes. Some are even shorter. So I think in order to get as much show in as possible in order to accommodate the commercials, the TV theme songs have been cut down or cut out completely.
But there’s more to it than just that.
Theory 2 – This is actually linked into theory 1. Because TV is bigger business than it’s ever been, by cutting down on the themes, you’re also cutting costs. I mean let’s face it, you’re not paying the same amount of money for a 5 second theme as you are for a minute long theme.
Do you know the “Crazy Like A Fox” theme, with opening dialogue, is 1:22? That’s insane by today’s standards. The NCIS LA theme song is a little over 20 seconds.
In short, it all comes down to money.
Where does that leave us?
Not in very great shape I’m afraid. Now maybe with PBS broadcasts you won’t run into this problem. After all, there are no ads so shows can be longer and at the same time, themes can be longer.
In fact, a longer theme means that there is less show they have to produce. But still, if these shows want to be “in” with the times, they might opt for shorter themes anyway. After all, they seem to be the new cool thing. How short and stupid can you make your theme?
Think I’m kidding? Have you ever watched “Hot In Cleveland?” That is one short and stupid theme. Same with “The Exes” which is coming back soon I hope. Don’t get me wrong. I love both these shows and “Hot” is an outright scream. Betty White is funnier than ever at 92. But my God, can you at least put a little effort into your theme song?
I guess you’ve pretty much figured out that I don’t like the direction TV themes have taken. It really does take away from the available work. I mean who needs a composer when all you have to do is get a bunch of guys into the studio and tell them to play a C chord and they’re done?
Oh trust me, that day is coming. Nothing would surprise me any longer. That’s why it’s so refreshing to see that the Doctor Who theme hasn’t changed much in all these years. Yeah, the arrangement keeps changing but it’s still Doctor Who. Oh, by the way, can’t wait for that to come back too.
But like I said earlier, throughout history TV themes have constantly changed. You could almost identify the era of television by the themes that were on at the time. And each one had its good points, until now. Now I see nothing but “let’s get this out of the way so we can cram in more commercials and maybe a little more show.”
It’s disgusting.
What do you think? Do you like where TV themes are going? Were they nothing but an annoyance to you? I would hope, as a composer, the answer is no. After all, this IS what we do. So what happens if the day comes when there are no themes at all anymore? Some shows don’t have them. I can’t think of any off the top of my head because it’s 6:34 in the morning right now, but there are those shows that have no opening theme. They just go right in.
Personally, I think it’s a crime. TV themes have always been such a big part of our culture and now the powers that be are slowly taking that away from us. Go on, call me a dinosaur if you want. But some things are sacred.
TV themes should definitely be on that list.
For The Love Of Music,
Steven “Wags” Wagenheim